Hey,
As someone who has studied happiness for over 20 years, I’m constantly pondering the idea of happiness and how can we get happier.
All of us want to be happy. Every single one of us. Yet, as Americans, we are getting unhappier by the year. Antidepressants are prescribed at a rate of 400 times more than 20 years ago. And I’m on an antidepressant for my anxiety, so no shame [or shade] here. 🙋🏼♀️
Most of us have more in our lives than ever before, but feeling a deep sense of satisfaction, fulfillment, and enjoyment is still something we are yearning to feel. Because “things” haven’t made us happier.
I must admit – I feel like I still chase “things” at times. My husband would definitely say that since our son moved to Boston, my shopping habits have increased. I’m positive I’m doing this to make myself feel better in the moment and to push my feelings of missing him away, even if it’s just temporarily.
Most of us are busier than ever and running around like our hair is on fire while also searching for the next big thing to make us happy… only to wake up the next morning and feel the same way we did yesterday.
I always say that we play the “If / When” game with happiness:
- I’ll be happy when… I lose 30 pounds.
- I’ll be happy when…I have a better class.
- I’ll be happy when…I make more money.
- I’ll be happy when… I get a better job.
- I’ll be happy when… I find the right partner.
- I’ll be happy when…I have a baby.
- I’ll be happy if…I have a more attentive spouse.
- I’ll be happy if… I get a better job.
- I’ll be happy if… my husband stops drinking.
- I’ll be happy…if I could just get a facelift.
- And on and on it goes.
When we play the “If / When” game with happiness, what we are saying is this: I can only be happy if or when these things happen. We’ve tied our happiness to the achievement of a goal.
It’s great to have goals, but let’s reconsider tying out happiness to them. What if you could have the goal while also allowing yourself to feel happy in the now?
For example, if you say, “I’ll be happy when I lose this weight.” Perhaps you say, “I’m working to get a healthier body. (This is your goal stated in a positive way.). But you also add, “I’m happy that I have legs that allow me to walk, a body that does so much for me in a day’s time, and a spouse that loves me.”
This way, you don’t miss out on the good around you while you’re reaching for those goals.
Perhaps we can be happy in the now while we make strides toward our goals. I’m working on this myself, and I’d love if you’d join me.
Because….your HAPPINESS MATTERS!
Always here cheering you on!
P.S. Environment matters for happiness, too. So if you are in charge of people at work and want to focus on happiness in the workplace, one of my keynotes might be the right answer. Reply to this email or click the button below to learn more.