Wise Words from a 90 year old while Running

I wanted to share a story that’s been on my mind recently. On a recent run, I had the sweetest conversation with a sweet 90-year-old man named Jim Efinger, who lives at the nursing home. I always run through the nursing home parking lot on my way home, and for years, he has always waved at me, and sometimes, we stop and chat.

Jim always tells me how much he enjoys watching me run since he was a runner back in the day. He encourages me and makes me feel special, even though I don’t know him too well. Sometimes, I stop and chat with him, and today was one of those days. He shared some wise and heartfelt words with me.

He told me his wife passed away two years ago, and he misses her terribly. They were married for 63 years. He explained that she was crippled with cerebral palsy her whole life, but that it never stopped her. He said many people thought he took care of her, but that she was the one who cared for him.

He then pointed to the sky and said, “She’s up there and doing great. In fact, she’s currently working on a ladder that will bring me up to see her when the time comes.”

My melted.

He said marriage is such a wonderful thing, but you have to talk to each other and work through your problems. And that partnerships are like magnets. If they are too much alike, they repel each other, but if you get one positive charge and its opposite, they attract and can work through things. But he then reiterated that you must talk things through when times get tough.

I just loved that in our 5-minute convo, he shared with me such beautiful, heartfelt words.

And then, as I was running away, he pointed at me and said, “I pray for you every day.” I haven’t seen him for months and probably only see him while running a few times a year. But I believed him wholeheartedly that he is the kind of man praying for me.

In Teach Happy: Small Steps to Big Joy, I discuss the importance of these relationships in our happiness journey. It’s not about grand gestures but the small, daily acts of connection. Like Jim, I believe in the power of intentionally nurturing our closest bonds.

Research even shows that couples who stay happy together make time to talk—an extra five hours a week, in fact! While that might sound impossible on busy days or when you have a young family and you can barely breathe, even starting small makes a difference.

For instance, my husband and I now begin and end each day with a simple 15-second hug. Or maybe you give you and your spouse 5 minutes at the end of a busy day to just say, “Tell me about your day.” It’s amazing what those little moments can do.

So, as Jim reminds me, make the small changes that fit your life. Whether it’s setting aside a few minutes to share gratitude or prioritizing a date night, these tiny steps strengthen the bond we share with those closest to us.

Wishing you joy and connection,